Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
