Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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