You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
