Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
