Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
My liver just had a heart attack.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
