I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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