erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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