TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
