So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
