I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
