sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
