Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I want to be your penis for a week.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
