I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
