Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
