I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
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