What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
