im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
