Barsexuality is the new black.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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