I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
