I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize