I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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