erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
vagina is talking i cant
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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