If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
