Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
