come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Well I just put wine in my tea
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
