4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
