When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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