I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
