ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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