I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
