you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
