dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
