have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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