Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
what day is it and did you see me today?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Randomize
