I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I am spending my child support on dildos
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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