So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
only you would photoshop your dick
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
