You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize