She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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