he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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