Porn is love you can see.
You can't motorboat a personality
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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