I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize