i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
