Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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