I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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