Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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