life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize