How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
dude. I can hear the air.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
