Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
