he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
