Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
