I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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