stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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