You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
