Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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