Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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