dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize