I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
