That's intense
I need help removing her.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
