The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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