dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
