Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
