The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We don't watch enough power rangers
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
