the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
