Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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