I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I am midnight drunk by noon
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
