I faked an abortion last night.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
